March 18, 2025: Here’s something I hear ALL THE TIME from soccer parents:
โ“She’s so inconsistent. Sometimes she is the best player on the field and other times she is in her head, plays scared and hesitates. We never know which player is going to show up that day.”
I also hear that “we’re hoping she grows out of it, because consistency & confidence aren’t things you can train.”
WRONG.
Let me explain.
Here is EXACTLY what is happening with your inconsistent soccer player.ย She is attaching her confidence to things that she does not have 100% full control over.ย Things like the outcome of the match, eliminating mistakes, scoring every game, not messing up, playing time, etc.
When a player's confidence is attached to things they don't control, their confidence will fluctuate depending on what is happening in the environment.
When this happens, confidence is most likely up and down and all over the place – either season to season, month to month, or even day to day. Their confidence and game play is riding high when they are able to meet the desired outcome (winning, no mistakes, scoring, perfect passing), and then game play and confidence drop when it’s a harder match or the team isn’t performing well and those desired outcomes don’t happen. Which is unavoidable in soccer especially as you play at higher levels, because you WILL face challenges and have off days.
This is part of what allows you to expand as a player, the adversity!ย (so we want to be a player that can have consistency & confidence INSIDE of adversity, since adversity is inevitable – right?!)
The definition of consistency is: you have relatively similar execution and performance game to game; you are a reliable, dependable, solid player; you have a neutral, objective perspective when playing (here are the facts, here is what I need to do); and lastly,ย no matter the environment, no matter the circumstance, no matter the distraction, you are able to LOCK-IN.
Inconsistency happens because you are letting something outside of your control be in charge of how you feel about yourself. You're just along for the ride, basically crossing your fingers and hoping things line up so you can feel good.
When players attach confidence to things they can’t control, they are setting themselves up for heartache. These things-we-don’t-have-full-
Sometimes these things work out in our favor, sometimes they don’t.ย But because they are so all over the place, they are a TERRIBLE thing to attach our confidence to.ย They are unreliable.
And when we allow our confidence to get attached to the pieces of the game we don’t have full control over, we are suddenly at the mercy of them. Meaning, THOSE THINGS control our confidence, not us! This is how we end up with inconsistent confidence, and inconsistent play.
Does it have to be this way? NO, IT DOES NOT. It is absolutely possible to feel confident even in the midst of challenging moments and difficult games.
So, how do players get to the point where they have stable confidence that stays with them even with the inevitable ups and downs of being an athlete?
They attach their confidence to their INPUT, not the outcome.
And the input is all of the things in the game that I can control: my effort, my energy, my leadership, my focus, my resiliency, my movement off the ball, my communication, my intensity, my attention to detail, etc.
These inputs, these controllables, are ALL YOU NEED TO DO in order to move yourself toward being the player you want to be.ย Sounds pretty good right? And, shouldn’t that be something you allow your confidence to be attached to? Having your own back and moving yourself forward?ย YES.
Here’s the magic in all this, you can actually CHOOSE to attach your confidence to whatever you want. For real. It’s up to you. You can consciously have this conversation with yourself and be intentional about what things get to determine your confidence today.ย “Today my confidence isn’t going to be attached to doing this perfectlyit, today my confidence is going to be attached to…… running as hard as I can to try and get on the end of passes, checking in and out of space, getting in the way asap when defending, etc.”ย Something that I CAN CONTROL, something nobody can stop me from doing.
Our confidence does not have to drop, swing, or be unstable.ย This is a skill, a mindset, that we CAN LEARN with focused training.ย And when our confidence isn’t swinging, our game play stays more consistent – EVEN WHEN THINGS ARE HARD.
To summarize, being a more consistent player comes down to one thing:ย only allowing your confidence to be attached to INPUT (not the outcome).
Till next Tuesday,
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
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Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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