the tuesday transition - issue 35
December 6, 2022: You want to be great at soccer? You want to consistently play with confidence, composure and control? If so, then this might be one of the best pieces of advice you’ll ever hear:
Learn to TALK to yourself instead of LISTEN to yourself.
I heard this years ago, but it popped back into my head this week and I just knew that this was what I needed to share with you all today.
On and off the soccer field, our brains are known to feed us an endless stream of unhelpful and distracting thoughts. This never-ending supply of self-doubt impedes our focus and concentration and prevents us from playing the soccer that we know we can play. When we are under the influence of our inner critic, our heads are filled with self-defeating mentalities that WE ACTUALLY LISTEN TO AND BELIEVE.
When this is happening, our brain just goes wherever the heck it wants to go and we are helpless to get off the ride or influence the direction. We absorb what we hear as the truth and think that this is just the way things are. We just have to sit there and put up with the ruminating and the dwelling, listening to it break us down again and again. Or so we think.
News flash, YOU DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN. You actually have the power to make things different. YOU. You have the power to override the overthinking. You have the power to quiet the endless negative chatter.
How you do this is by choosing to STOP LISTENING and choosing to START TALKING. Talking to yourself and providing yourself NEW DIRECTION and GUIDANCE. Direction and guidance that the TRUE, REAL YOU is CHOOSING. Because the nonsense that your brain is spitting out at you, that’s not the real you. It’s simply your brain doing brain things (it has a MAJOR negative bias).
I mean, do you really think that you would choose to be that mean and negative and unhelpful to yourself, ON PURPOSE?
When you TALK to yourself, you are actively choosing what words to tell yourself. You are in charge. When you LISTEN to yourself, you are just a recipient of whatever your brain decides to toss your way. When you TALK to yourself, you are in control. When you LISTEN to yourself, you are a victim, an easy mark for your inner critic.
There are two you’s here. There is you BEFORE you understand this concept (unconsciously listening to all the unhelpful, negative, distracting messages that your brain is sending you) and then there is the you AFTER you understand this concept. This is the REAL YOU, the one that is empowered to be kind, helpful and send yourself good vibes. The one that decides that TALKING TO YOURSELF, instead of listening to yourself, is how you actually reach your goals.
So, how can you switch up the game? What you can you do today to TALK to yourself instead of listen to yourself? On the soccer field? At school? At home?
Talking to yourself isn't crazy. In fact, if you want to become the best soccer player you can be, it's PURE GENIUS.
Here is some extra reading on self-talk that you might find helpful:
Onward and upward,
💎 What I’m digging: Canada is going to have a professional women’s league starting in 2025! Let’s keep growing the game! 💕
👩🏽💻 What I’m reading: Lot’s of absences on the USWNT lately; here are the players we most need back for the 2023 Women’s World Cup next summer
🎧 What I’m listening to: The brilliance of Giannis Antetokounmpo’s success (he doesn’t FOCUS ON STATS, he doesn’t even CARE about them!)
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
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Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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