June 25, 2024: Every time a player comes to me in the midst of struggles with overthinking, self-doubt and negative self-talk, they always say that they wish they could be more positive. They think that this is what they need in order to play better soccer.
While YES, I wholeheartedly agree that switching from negative self-talk to positive self-talk is a HUGE level up (especially when it comes to mental wellness) - I actually think there is a better, more effective, more PERFORMANCE ENHANCING type of self-talk we can go after instead of positive self-talk.
When we look at the big picture, positive self-talk (example, telling yourself “you’ve got this” or “you can do this”) is part of a healthy striving mentality, of course. Positive self talk is having your own back, supporting yourself and prioritizing your mental wellness. But I have found that it is very hard for players who are in DEEP with the negative self-talk and the self-defeating mentalities to just ‘start being positive’. It doesn’t work. That is because their inner critic has such a grip that it won’t even give them an ounce of space to TRY anything positive, the negative thinking just shuts it down completely before it ever even has a chance.
So what do we do about this?
Two things here that I want to point out (both related to my method). First, self-awareness of that inner critic HAS TO BE THE FIRST STEP in making any changes. Because until you can objectively & NON-JUDGMENTALLY see what is going on in your head, you will never be able to make any effective changes. But that’s for another conversation.
The second thing, and the main takeaway for you all today – it’s SO MUCH EASIER to convince the inner critic to try this alternative version of self-talk: instructional self-talk. Your inner critic doesn’t put up as much of a fight about it because you’re not asking it to be all fluffy and light (my educated perspective as to how the inner critic sees ‘positive self-talk’, hmmm 🤔).
Here’s the real kicker though, not only is instructional self-talk easier to convince the inner critic to let you try it, instructional self-talk is also my #1 recommended tool to get out of your head and stop overthinking, which immediately allows you to play better.
The second you go all in and decide to start using instructional self-talk every time you catch yourself overthinking, you start playing better soccer. I'm not joking.
You play better because you’re brain is focused on something HELPFUL. Also, by using instructional self-talk you are more aware of what’s going on around you, you are more focused on the controllable things you can be doing to impact the play, you are triggering yourself to pay attention to the details of the game. And all of this comes together to instantly level up your play.
OK, so here’s what instructional self talk is:
- Instructional self-talk is when you intentionally give yourself a set of ‘instructions’ about what you should be doing right now in the game
- It is pre-planned message you have for yourself (it can be phrased as a question or command).
- It is a trigger to remind you to do an action
- Instructional self-talk is telling yourself what TO DO, not what NOT to do (these are not instructional self-talk: don’t dive in, don’t hesitate, don’t miss, don’t think about it)
- Instructional self-talk is the MOST HELPFUL thing you can do ON THE FIELD to keep you focused on the present moment & help you get out of your head
- When you use instructional self-talk, it helps you stop overthinking and eliminate hesitation because your body follows the LOUDEST thought in your mind
Your job is to make sure that the loudest thought is something helpful, not self-defeating. Here’s how you do that:
- Come up with your instructional self-talk message before the soccer game or training session, center it around a goal you have for yourself or something you are working on
- The message needs to be short: 1-4 words only
- When you notice yourself overthinking or getting stuck on something in your mind (the self-awareness part I mentioned above), immediately start repeating your instructional self-talk message over and over in your head. Repeat it like a broken message. You MUST REPEAT IT on a loop, if you only say it once what will happen is that your brain will take you RIGHT BACK TO THE OVERTHINKING.
Here are some basic examples, although as you get better at using this, it can be upgraded to be very specific to your position and roles:
- Command examples:
- check your shoulder
- look for space
- find the gaps
- break lines
- first touch into space
- head up
- Question examples:
- can I go forward?
- where’s the space?
- where can I run?
- which side is better?
- did you look?
Here’s a real life example of how powerful instructional self-talk can be. Let’s say you are playing the 6, a holding mid. Let’s say you’ve gotten into a bad habit of bumping the ball straight back into pressure instead of distributing into better space. Every time you receive the ball, your brain is going a million miles a minute, you are overthinking about everything from the mistake you just made to how annoyed you are with the last ref call. Because your brain is experiencing those automatic & unhelpful thoughts, you are not present with the game and not fully engaged with your environment. So your body just reverts to the habit of having very narrow vision and passing the ball right back into the crowded area.
Your goal is to have broader vision and make better choices about distribution, but your overthinking is getting in the way of you achieving that.
Instructional self-talk to the rescue! Here’s how we specifically use this: before the game, pre-plan to use the question “which side is better?” You want to figure out what the cue is to use this (meaning WHEN I should say this). In this case the game cue might be “whenever we are attacking and the ball starts to move through the middle channel, I’m going to immediately start asking myself – which side is better, which side is better, which side is better – on repeat in order to (1) block out the unhelpful thoughts (2) fill my head with something more productive and (3) ACTUALLY LOOK and figure out where I should go with the ball”.
Here’s the catch. Once you start ASKING yourself this question, what are you going to want to do? YOU’LL WANT TO ANSWER. And in order to answer, you gotta get your head up and look at the left flank and the right flank and actually figure out which side is better.
Asking yourself this question will instantly make a positive impression on your game because now you are doing the thing that you weren’t doing before – looking! When you look and gather more information, it automatically improves decision making (because when you have more information, you can make a more informed decision.)
Here’s another example in front of the goal:
The red lines are the negative self-talk, yellow are positive, and blue are instructional. Which self-talk is going to give you highest chance of putting the ball in the back of the net? Why do the INSTRUCTIONS increase ⬆️ your chances of success more than the positive words? I’m gunna let you answer that…
Try this out next time you hit the field and let me know what happens 🙂
Till next Tuesday,
💎 What I’m digging: I just picked up the guitar 🎸 for the first time in my life, anyone have suggestions for some good videos to learn by?
👩🏽💻 What I’m reading: For the first session of my brand new IMPACT PROGRAM(which I’m so excited about btw), we are reading She the Confident, by Shay Haddow.
🎧 What I’m listening to: Really enjoyed this episode of the Mark Groves podcast, it’s so true, as you change and evolve, the people around you will not always get it – and that’s OK.
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
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Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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