the tuesday transition - issue 51
May 16, 2023: I’ve got something a bit different for you today, a script to a pre-game mental-prep talk I gave last week to help players focus on growth, progression and building self-confidence by defining the specifics of what success looks like for them in the game that day. Enjoy, and let me know what you think! – Jenn
Today I know each of you are going to be working hard to prove yourself out there on the field. And I want to talk about something real quick that can help you show up, right now, TODAY, as the player you want to show up as.
One of the reasons we as players often struggle to have stable confidence and don’t always leave the field feeling great about ourselves, is because we are attaching OUR CONFIDENCE to expectations/standards that are things we do NOT have absolute, full, 100% control over. Meaning even if we do our very best, we are not always going to be able to meet those expectations. This can easily trap us in feelings of low confidence and you won’t ever be able to change that if you allow that same standard to be your guiding light.
So today, instead of demanding from ourselves something that we are not in full control of (and letting that determine our confidence) – let’s decide to demand from ourselves something that we absolutely have 100% the power to do. And then let’s let THAT define how we find success today. Let’s agree to let THAT determine our confidence and how we feel about ourselves. Let’s understand that THAT is ACTUALLY what having HIGH EXPECTATIONS means.
Setting an intention like this is what I call setting a 'controllable objective'. And the very best part about controllable objectives? LITERALLY NOBODY CAN STOP YOU FROM DOING THEM. Nobody.
Controllable objectives are manageable, SPECIFIC, small actions that you have the power to do, no matter what everyone else is doing. They are conscious choices that you can always make, and whether or not they happen is completely up to you. They are focused on the PROCESS of self-improvement, not on the outcome of the game and not on eliminating mistakes.
Example – Maybe typically your expectation of yourself is “I need to make good passes today”. How can we break this down into the pieces that are 100% within our control? Examples of the fully controllable pieces of passing? Technique, placement of your foot on the ball, follow through, proper pace on the ball, making eye contact, communicating and providing information to the person receiving, choosing your placement, etc.
These controllable pieces ARE THE HIGH STANDARDS and ARE THE HIGH EXPECTATIONS that you need to hold yourself to today - not simply 'make good passes'.
Do we see the difference? Expectations of ‘making good passes’ where other factors and things you cannot control (your teammates, opponents, wet field conditions) can affect whether you meet this standard, we have to rewrite it in a way that puts ALL THE POWER within our own hands. That gives us the power to work towards our high expectations regardless of what everyone else is doing.
Right now, I want you to pick a very tight, detailed controllable objective that you are going to commit to doing today. Something that will help you advance your game. Think about it like this – how can you take the expectations you have of yourself headed into this game today and break it down into fully controllable aspects? Things that will help you not just execute better but also have you showing up for yourself and having your own back in regard to expanding a piece of your game?
If we want to be able to use these controllable objectives to enhance our performance AND help us build a foundation of internal validation, these have to be REALLY SPECIFIC and they have to be FULLY CONTROLLABLE. Double check, is yours both of these things? Does it pass the test?
Before you head out to the field today, make this promise to yourself: doing the controllable thing, THAT is what I choose to attach my confidence to today.
When I show up and do THIS thing for myself, that is how I find success, that is how I feel good about myself and that is how I progress toward my long term goals of developing as a player.
Till next time,
💎 What I’m digging: Did you see the HUGE news today? USL Super League announced that they will be starting play next year as a DIVISION 1 women’s pro soccer league, same tier as NWSL. Is your city getting a team?
👩🏽💻 What I’m reading: Just started diving into The Confident Mind from the Director of West Point’s Performance Psychology Program about the secrets of mental toughness and self-belief.
🎧 What I’m listening to: Honestly, I’ve been nuts these past few weeks and listening to a random forest has been an amazing self-care piece.
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
Subscribe to our email list to
Get your FREE Weekly Soccer Planner!
We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.
Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.
