November 19, 2024: Female soccer players – stop thinking that being too confident on the soccer field is an actual problem you need to be cautious of.
Here’s the REAL problem: young women often get the message (from society at large) that they shouldn’t be too confident or else they’ll be considered cocky and full of themselves.
Being confident and believing in yourself DOES NOT LEAD TO BEING COCKY.
We need to talk about this because THESE ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.
First off, having true deep belief in yourself and your abilities is NOT being cocky. Being a very confident player looks like this: self-belief, having your own back, knowing how to internally validate yourself, but also bringing your teammates up and along for the ride. (Example: I know I can do this, I know WE can do this, let’s go get this together!)
Cockiness is the completely opposite end of the spectrum. It’s thinking you are too good for everyone around you and letting that be known through your actions and words. It’s being arrogant and mean. (And here’s the catch, often times that cocky player is NOT confident, they are insecure and therefore acting in this manner to cover it up.)
The false messaging that young women are receiving (that they shouldn't be too confident), HOLDS THEM BACK and essentially 'keeps them in line.' Well, greatness wasn't ever born from someone staying-in-line.
You can be a good player this way, true, but you’ll never be GREAT. If you are constantly trying to do what you are ‘supposed to’ do, and striving to make everyone happy, you end up shorting yourself of the opportunity to experience your own greatness.
As a collective, we need to teach our young women at an early age not to be people pleasers and not to NEED to have everyone like them. Because here’s the thing, not everyone is always going to like us and THAT IS OK.
Especially when you are working hard and doing something great – people can really tend to go against you then. I’m not talking about they don’t like you because you’re being mean (which you’re not), I’m talking about, if you are authentic, REAL, have confidence and self-belief, that is not going to sit well with some people and THAT IS OK!
Some people are just never going to like to see a confident young women who believes in herself and has her own back because it shows you are supportive of yourself and believe in yourself.
That is POWERFUL and other people can feel threatened by that because they don't have it themselves, and it is very strong energy.
Make no mistake though, THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️ is NOT being cocky. This is having MOXIE.
When girls are worried about being ‘too confident’ they start to limit themselves. This sort of self-censorship and restriction prevents them from truly unlocking their game and being the difference maker that we know they can be. When they are worried about this, they essentially assist in keeping themselves small instead of letting themselves be BIG.
TRUE confidence (as an athlete and as a young woman) looks like this: joy, authenticity, kindness, determination, hard-work, self-compassion, doubt-free, accountability, leadership, plus more, ALL ROLLED INTO ONE. True confidence is showing up AS THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BE KNOWN AS, regardless of if someone approves of it or not.
Ladies – stop keeping yourself small. Have moxie. Embrace your imperfections. Be YOU. Be great. Be THE BEST. Fiercely BELIEVE. Passionately push forward.
BE ‘TOO’ CONFIDENT. And don’t apologize to anyone for it.
💎 What I’m digging: If you haven’t watched Marta’s goal from the NWSL Semifinal last Sunday, take 17 seconds to watch. You won’t be disappointed.
🥳 What I’m excited for: The NWSL Championship is Saturday and I’M GOING TO KC! Who else is going to the game?
🎧 What I’m listening to: Can’t get enough of these Sound Bath recordings from Irene Athanasiou. Perfect for getting to sleep quickly 🙏❤️💤
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
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Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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