the tuesday transition - issue 58
January 2, 2024: Let’s start out the New Year strong with an email full of some good, solid advice. Advice that can IMMEDIATELY help you play better soccer yes, but more importantly help you FEEL more confident and play with more JOY.
One of the biggest themes I noticed this past year from speaking with dozens of soccer players from across the country, in regards to things that hold them back, is the consistency in which many of us get hung-up on mistakes, get stuck in our head and get so caught up in the pressure of NEEDING to score and win that we essentially self-defeat. We are so focused on something that either already happened (a mistake or missed opportunity) or something that we desperately want to happen (scoring, winning) that we aren’t as focused on the game right in front of us as we should be.
So what happens, because we can't get out of our head, is that we play poorly. We limit our potential and don't impact the game like we want to and know we can.
Players, I know many of you have heard that “you just need to get out of your head!” from a coach or a parent. I also know that this is not the most helpful advice because while it is usually well intentioned, you get it, you already know that you need to get out of your head. What you don’t know is HOW THE HECK DO YOU GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD?!
It’s one of those things that is million times easier said than done, and rarely does someone offer up ideas of how to make it happen. We are constantly being told that we need to do this, but we are never really told HOW to do it. The HOW is what mental skill work is here for. The HOW is what I am here for.
Learning to ‘get out of your head’ is a skill that take a lot of patience and practice, and a deep, self-exploratory dive (with something like the Mindset Mastery Academy). But because I can’t do that here, I am going to offer up 3 quick pieces of advice to try on your own. As you head out to the field for your next match, keep one of these, or all three, in the forefront of your thoughts and see what happens:
Tip One: Self-awareness + “what’s next?”
The first step to getting out of your head is to be able to notice (be self-aware) about the fact that you are currently IN your head. Meaning, on the field, start to check in with yourself periodically to see where your mind is at and what is going on: Am I stuck on a mistake right now? Am I in my head right now about scoring? If the answer is YES – then you have just found yourself in a VERY GOOD PLACE.
What's good about being in your head? Well, nothing really, but what's good here is that you are actively noticing that you are in your head. You are SELF-AWARE of it, and with that comes power over the situation.
This is actually a huge win because once you get yourself to a place where you can be objectively be like “ok, I notice that I’m in my head right now,” YOU CAN CHANGE THINGS. And how you change things is that you use a mental skills tool to replace the overthinking. While there are many out there, I’ll give you one simple tool to start with: ask yourself “what’s next?” And don’t just ask yourself the question, ANSWER IT! Look around and try and figure out WHAT’S NEXT. Meaning, where’s the opportunity? Where’s the danger? What is my role right now, where should I be moving, what should I be doing?
Tip Two: Redefine success
Before your match, choose something controllable that you can focus on all game, and agree that doing THAT is how you find success today. Your high expectations of yourself have to be things that are fully, 100% within your control – when they are NOT (such as scoring goals every game) we put ourselves in a pickle because we are holding ourselves to a standard that is only partially within our control, and when we attach our confidence to these things, we are no longer in control of how we feel about ourselves. Which isn’t good at all.
So before the game, pick something that you have full control over (something that will make an impact on the game, something you can achieve regardless of the result of the game, something that helps you move toward becoming the player you want to be) and then agree to let THAT be the thing you focus on, and let THAT be the way you define success for yourself today. During the game, when you catch yourself getting ‘in your head’ remind yourself of your new definition of success.
The difficult part here is that you must choose to opt-out of the standard way of thinking. You must choose to say, "today I don't define success based on my ability to eliminate mistakes, today I define success based on..."
Example: Today I define success for myself as keeping my head on a swivel, finding the space and making runs off the ball. Regardless of if I receive the ball or not, the success is simply MAKING THE RUN. I can fully control this. This is what I’m going to focus on because this will positively impact the game and make me a better player. And is something I can definitely do, regardless of the result of the game.
Tip Three: “The best way to score is to forget about scoring.”
Yes, I just wrote that. Well actually, George Mumford did. It’s ironic yes, but the best way to score IS to forget about scoring. What this essentially means is that it’s wayyyy easier to score goals when you focus on all the small things you can do that move you up the field and get you to the goal, instead of just thinking about how badly you need (or want) to score. When you do that, you leave no room in your head for focusing on the actual game in front of you.
Example, if you are playing striker and are in the middle third, instead of thinking about the pressure you feel to score, what should you be thinking about? Here’s some ideas: how can we break down this backline? what space can I run into to create an opportunity? what information can I communicate to my teammates that will be most helpful to them right now? where the weaknesses in the opponent’s line that we can exploit? how can I move to help my teammates break lines and counter quickly? etc.
If you are NOT thinking about these things, when you DO receive the ball, you are not as prepared as you could be, making it much harder to keep possession and advance toward the goal. When we regulate our attention to stay tuned into the details of the game around us and have good situational awareness, we are more likely to help our team get into goal scoring position and hence, SCORE MORE GOALS.
And there you have it, some REAL advice about how to ‘get out of your head’, stop overthinking and play better soccer! I hope something here resonated with you and that you are excited to try it out and see what happens 🙂
Happy New Year! Till next week,
💎 What I’m digging: For my Seattle friends, happy that the University of Washington made the National Championship game – let’s go Huskies!
👩🏽💻 What I’m reading: Starting the year with a reread of one of the most impactful books I read back during the pandemic: Why Buddhism is True
🎧 What I’m listening to: Not listening this week, but watched the USWNT Under Pressure documentary on Netflix – and I’m really glad I did. (I don’t watch anything on TV expect sports games, so this was a big move for me.)
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
Subscribe to our email list to
Get your FREE Weekly Soccer Planner!
We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.
Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.
