We all know the game. You know, THAT game. That really hard soccer game where you just get dominated by the opponent. That game where you were up against a girl who was super fast, physical and really good with her feet. That game where the opponent just schooled you and left you in the dust.
When this type of painful soccer game happens, it doesn’t feel great. It feels pretty awful in fact. You walk away from the match in a sour mood, your confidence has taken a major hit and you just in general feel pretty crappy about your performance that day. Also, your inner critic is going wild, constantly replaying your mistakes and reminding you of all the things you ‘should’ have done better.
What if there was a way to change this? Not the game (because you can’t control other people), but your response to the game? The thing you can control.
There IS a way to look at this hard soccer game completely differently. A way that actually makes you excited. A way that makes the pain and the disappointment and the stress a little bit more worth it.
Don’t believe it? Let me explain.
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The good things about a hard soccer game
If you consider yourself a growth-minded player that wants to get better at soccer, you are going to have to teach yourself to WANT these hard soccer games.
Why? Because a hard soccer game exposes the small details of YOUR game that you need to work on in order to take your performance and skills to the next level. A hard soccer game is something to appreciate because it lays everything out for you. You WANT these games because they give you a roadmap for what to work on.
When you are a strong soccer player, you might not often get the opportunity to figure out some of these details. We are talking about things that don’t usually present as a problem for you against opponents that are equal to or lesser in skill. We are talking about those games don’t push you to the limit of your ability like a hard soccer game does.
The harder the competition you have to go up against, the more exposed your weaknesses will become. THIS ISN’T A BAD THING! It’s something to be grateful for, and even excited about.
When you get dominated in a hard soccer game, you GAIN valuable insight into your game play. And instead of guessing or asking coach what you can work on this week to improve, you now have a guide to EXACTLY what you need to do.
Making the pain worth it
Here’s a real world example of how this works. Let’s say you play outside back. Typically you have no problem closing space, delaying, forcing the opponent’s winger wide in 1v1 situations. But this game you are getting schooled.
The winger keeps cutting inside and getting past you, and before you know it you are chasing her instead of getting in her way. And this keeps happening again and again. You are trying your hardest but she is just skilled and has speed. You leave the game feeing defeated, lousy and full of self-criticism.
Here’s what the reframe of a growth-minded soccer player might look like, a change of response, after a hard soccer game and being matched 1 v 1 on a difficult opponent:
“Damn, that team was good. And specifically the player I was up against, she was SO strong. I didn’t play like I wanted to, but I did work super hard, she was just getting the best of me today. She was really fast and skilled. I’m not going to beat myself up about this though, I’m going to use it as fuel. I’m going to make the pain worth it. I’m going to use this to figure out exactly where I can improve and then I’m going to go out and get those pieces of my game that I’m missing. This is good for me.”
Now THIS is why we can get excited about hard soccer games. If this was your self-talk after a match, you might leave the game feeling disappointed about the loss yes, but also inspired and grateful for the opportunity for growth. The opportunity to gain valuable insight into your play and what specific details need strengthening.
This type of response comes from having emotional control in soccer and being able to self-regulate. It comes from being mentally tough. It comes from staying calm and composed. It comes from being able to take the long term perspective and not get swept up in the self-defeating mentalities that are threatening to take over.
a golden opportunity for analyzing game film
While you might need a few days to decompress, particularity if this was an extremely difficult game, I would highly suggest making it a priority to review your game film from this match. Analyzing this game is MORE important than analyzing the last game you played well in. This is because studying your game film here is key to being able to get a roadmap for yourself, a detailed list of the EXACT places your game broke down and what you need to work on.
As the outside back, you might determine that you need to work on the following defensive things based on your review of the game film: anticipation to read passes into the winger earlier and stepping to intercept, explosive speed to gain ground within a few strides, and better communication with your center back after you get beat.
A reminder, never just WATCH game film, study it! We’ve got a Game Film Analysis worksheet that’s really helpful for this, here’s the link to download it for free.
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
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Cultivating more consistent confidence
Here’s the thing about confidence in soccer: it’s typically pretty inconsistent for most soccer players. Meaning that when they are playing well, they feel pretty good about themselves. And when they are not playing well, they feel bad about themselves. Like clockwork.
This confidence swing is what happens when results based expectations own our mentality. Meaning when we NEED to meet our super high unrealistic expectations of perfection in order to feel good about ourselves. And when your confidence levels are derived directly from your expectations of your performance, you can leave feeling really terrible about yourself after a particularly hard soccer game.
Ultimately, more consistent confidence comes from seeing those hard games differently, like we’ve been talking about here. So that even when you don’t play well (because an opponent is dominating you), you can still sort out what you did well, where you put good effort into and why playing this hard opponent is actually a good thing (because it exposes your places for growth and can be used a guide to where to focus your training).
Consistent confidence is a deep, underlying, unshakeable belief in yourself that you hang onto EVEN IN THE DIFFICULT MOMENTS. Even in the hard soccer game while you are getting dominated. Consistent and stable confidence is a mentality that takes awhile to build, but once you have it, your potential is limitless.
With consistent confidence you can still get dominated in a game, of course. But the difference is that with consistent confidence you can get dominated, reflect on this hard soccer game as a place for fine-tuning your game, and still feel good about yourself. It’s possible and it’s a nice place to be.
Also – rematch? Let’s see who dominates in round 2.
Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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