Let’s be honest, soccer is an emotional game. Undesirable things happen, things which sometimes cause a flood of negative emotions and can change the course of the game rather quickly.
Anxiety, frustration, anger and despair are just some of those feelings we can encounter when playing soccer. A ref made a call we don’t agree with. There’s a player on the other team who’s getting on our nerves. We miss an opportunity to score. We make a mistake and get scored ON. And on top of it all, we then get stuck replaying it over and over again in our heads, getting ourselves even more worked up and limiting our ability to play our best.
In these situations, the surge of emotions and negative thoughts that we are experiencing have the power to completely overtake us, impede our focus and concentration, and take our head right out of the game. Our mental capacity becomes extremely limited – which isn’t good when you are in the middle of a soccer game and REALLY NEED TO FOCUS.
Managing emotions in soccer is a skill that every player must learn if they want to be able to consistently play well. Without the ability to control your emotions on the soccer pitch, you are susceptible to large swings in your focus, composure and overall level of play. Elite soccer players are able to control their emotions in any situation, under any circumstance. That is your goal.
So, how do you self-regulate extreme emotions during a soccer game? Here are 3 tips for managing emotions in soccer, let’s dive in.
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Tip #1: Keep your focus tuned to what you can control
One of the markers of a great soccer player is that you can perform on the field, under pressure, in any circumstance – even when emotions are running high. The secret to managing emotions in soccer is to put your energy and focus into controlling the things you can control, and not getting hung up or preoccupied with the stuff that you can’t (aka, all the things that caused your emotions to spike). This skill is a game changer: learn to have emotional control in soccer and you have taken your game to an entirely new level.
So how do you redirect your focus so that you’re not wasting mental energy on things that are out of your control, especially when your emotions are surging? The first step to managing emotions in soccer is self-awareness: you need to be able to identify what you are feeling in the moment, and actively realize what is going on. Once you are self-aware and know when your emotions are edging, you then can work on controlling the controllable.
You ALWAYS HAVE THE OPTION to let the emotions control you, OR to shift your focus and choose to move your attention onto something else: such as things you can control. Redirecting your focus onto things that are within your control means choosing to concentrate on your communication, your movement, your ball control, your decision making, etc.
Tip #2: Do things OFF the pitch that will help you self-regulate ON the pitch
Self-regulation means monitoring your thoughts, feelings and behaviors to achieve a desired outcome. It means managing emotions in soccer so that you can play to the best of your ability and maximize your impact. Players with strong emotional control in soccer have the ability to stay focused in high pressure game situations and hold their emotions in check until after pivotal moments of required focus have passed (example: penalty kicks).
Learning to self-regulate is the key to having emotional control in soccer. Many things can help your self-regulation skills grow, but they do all require patience and self-compassion as expanding your game isn’t an easy or quick process.
Developing a meditation practice can help you stay focused in game play by keeping your mind tuned to what is happening in the moment and not drifting away and getting caught up on unhelpful things. Visualization can also be useful because it allows you to practice putting yourself into high pressure or emotionally triggering situations and allowing you to pre-plan how you will react and work through the situation successfully.
Reflective practices are important as well, in regards to managing emotions in soccer. Self-reflection is paramount because, when done honestly and constructively (NOT critically), it has the power to show you exactly how much a lack of emotional control might be sabotaging your soccer game. And once you are able to see it firsthand, you’ll be able to identify it in the moment more often and work towards progression and change.
Tip #3: Harness the power of self-talk
When learning how to manage emotions in soccer, be very intentional with your self-talk. Self-talk is what goes through your head, what you are saying to yourself and thinking about while you are out there on the field. Self-talk is something you can control: you can consciously choose your self-talk and steer your focus away from feelings of anxiety, anger and frustration and towards things that will help you play better soccer.
Motivational & instructional self-talk
Developing a habit of positive self-talk (both motivational and instructional) is a way to self-regulate overpowering emotions and detrimental thinking patterns that impede your focus and concentration on the soccer field. When you feel emotions start to come up and threaten to steal your focus, you can redirect things by intentionally choosing self-talk that is good, useful and constructive.
Motivational self-talk is when you talk to yourself and give yourself messages that are kind, encouraging, and directly related to the moment. It’s self-talk that is supportive, boosts confidence and helps you regain composure. An example of positive self-talk in soccer that you can put on repeat in your head is, “I’ve got this. I can handle this. I am prepared.”
{Related read: How a habit of POSITIVE self-talk can ELEVATE your soccer game}
Instructional self-talk is similar, but it’s less focused on encouragement and more focused on giving yourself guidance and asking directive questions about what you can be doing RIGHT NOW to positively impact the game. Examples: What run can I make? How can I give a better angle to my teammate with the ball? Where is the space to exploit? How can we get in behind the defensive line?
Or, instead of questions to trigger your focus, you can repeat instructional statements. For example, when defending you could use any of the following, on repeat in your head: mark tight, watch for runners, goal side, get behind the ball, delay. And when attacking: take space, break lines, get forward, get in behind, interchange, attack for rebounds, etc. The possibilities are endless and are completely customizable to you, your position, and your style of play.
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Symbolic labeling
Another self-talk tip comes from sports psychologist Dan Abrahams, and it’s called ‘symbolic labeling’. Abrahams says that symbolic labeling is the trick to QUICKLY managing emotions in soccer, which is very important in the run of play. Symbolic labeling “refers to the ability to find the right word to identify an emotional sensation.” Basically it means having the self-awareness to understand and describe your emotions. Examples include: I’m frustrated, I’m getting angry, I feel overwhelmed, I’m anxious, or even I feel good, happy, excited, etc.
Abraham references the work of UCLA neuroscientists Matt Lieberman and David Cresswell, who have shown that identifying and labeling actually helps regulate extreme emotions, and in some cases reduces the strength of the emotional reaction, which is amazing insight and extremely helpful for managing emotions in soccer
You can use symbolic labeling by paying attention to how you are feeling in a soccer game, and then challenging yourself to identify your feelings with words. Doing this can help you get past the emotion faster and help you have a less extreme reaction.
For the holy grail of self-talk power, combine all three (symbolic labeling, motivational self-talk and instructional self-talk) and you’ve got a surefire way to managing emotions in soccer. Here’s an example:
(Symbolic labeling) I can’t believe I missed that shot. I’m getting discouraged.
(Symbolic labeling) I can’t believe I missed that shot. I’m getting discouraged.
(Motivational self-talk) You’ve got this though! You practiced this all week!
(Instructional self-talk) Just stay on your toes and keep searching for space to exploit.
Managing emotions in soccer is a skill you CAN learn
Most soccer players don’t realize that managing emotions in soccer is a skill, they just assume that they either have or don’t have, emotional control. While it is true that some soccer players have better natural self-regulation skills than others, it is still a SKIL – meaning that it’s something that can be learned and grown through self-awareness and a desire for self-improvement.
If you struggle to control your emotions or your thoughts during a soccer game, know that this is something you do have the power to change. It doesn’t have to continue to be this way, you don’t have to continue to get flustered and derailed when emotions start to surge. You are in control: of how you react AND in how good you get at soccer.
This post has been amended and expanded from the original version, which was written by Jenn for Girls Soccer Network and published on December 1, 2021. You can read it here.
Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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