the tuesday transition - issue 49
May 2, 2023: One of my biggest gripes with youth soccer culture is that, as a collective, we have a completely inaccurate view of mistakes and of adversity in regards to experiencing challenging & difficult moments on the field. So today I want to clarify the perspective I think is necessary for all of us to have if we actually want to help ourselves (and those around us) cultivate a healthy striving mentality and an enjoyable, motivated and driven relationship with the game.
Soccer players, here’s the reality of the situation: you will actually get better faster if you embrace mistakes and push yourself hard in training (hard enough to the point that you are out of your comfort zone and practicing in a space that is beyond the scope of what your current skillset is). This is where mistakes start to happen, true, but this is also where accelerated growth comes from, from challenging ourselves and pushing the envelope.
Accelerated growth does NOT come from only doing the things we already know we do well so that we can stay comfortable and perform flawlessly all the time.
YOU DO NOT PROGRESS IN THAT SPACE. You stall, you hold yourself back, YOU MOVE ASIDE AND LET OTHER PEOPLE PASS YOU BY. We get better faster when we face adversity and struggle a bit in games and training, we get better faster when we practice on the very edge of our ability. We get better faster when we get brave enough to leave our comfort zone. We get better faster when things are HARD. WE GET BETTER FASTER WHEN WE MAKE MISTAKES.
So – your training session today was hard and you were confused and didn’t understand the new concept your coach was teaching? GOOD. Now go ask some questions and start figuring it out. Get CURIOUS. You see, many players will get resentful and start complaining in a situation like this. They see this difficult session (where they keep messing up) as a problem. Does it have to be a problem though? NO IT DOES NOT. Why don’t we look at it like this? “My goal is to be better than I was yesterday, and this very challenging situation is going to help me do just that because I am going to learn this. I am going to problem solve, ask questions, and figure things out. The mistakes are bound to happen because this is a new thing that I do not yet know how to do. I WELCOME THIS CHALLENGE though because it is helping me ADD TO MY GAME. It is helping me LEVEL UP.”
Now let’s talk about how we look at errors in the run of play. Players, I know you often feel like you are going backwards and letting your team down when you make mistakes in games. Well guess what? You’re not. You are actually going FORWARDS and helping your team by taking steps to progress your game. You are actually going FORWARDS when you try something and make errors because you are getting ONE STEP CLOSER to mastering the skill every time you do it.
There is no world that exists where you can improve your skill at something by doing it perfectly every time.
You improve your skill at something by DOING IT - regardless of result.
Regardless of how pretty or ugly something looks, you ARE taking steps forward every time you attempt something – and that deserves to be celebrated. Why? Because right now, the win is just DOING the action, regardless of result. (After you get the ‘taking action’ part down then you can progress to working on the smaller details that will allow you to execute better and more cleanly, but you literally cannot start working on THAT until you just start DOING).
As a mental skills coach, one of my goals is always to help my players reframe how they think about mistakes & difficult training sessions and games. One of the ways we do that is we work on connecting the current moment with their long term goals of development and progression, instead of to the results of the game that day. You made a mistake today when you were distributing that led to a turnover in possession in a dangerous area of the field? Well, you also got to practice distributing about 10 times, and 9/10 went really well, which moves you toward your long term goal of mastering this skill and developing as a player. So today could actually be looked at as a success, right? Even with the error? YES.
When players are hyper-focused on results and outcomes of TODAY, they much more easily get hung-up on mistakes and get in their head because they are connecting the errors with the immediate moment (which makes them feel like they are failing) instead of connecting them to their long term goal (in which they are actually GROWING towards).
There you have it folks. Might have been a little longer than a 1-minute read, but if you took at least one small nugget away from this that will be useful out there on the soccer field, then I hope you’ll forgive me for the extra time spent 🙂
Till next Tuesday,
💎 What I’m digging: Bella Bixby, the Portland Thorns GOALKEEPER scored a cheeky, backheal goal in stoppage time to keep the Thorns undefeated on the season. If you haven’t seen this yet, watch it now!
👩🏽💻 What I’m reading: One of my favorite mental performance teachers, George Mumford, has just released his second book and I can’t wait to read it! Unlocked: Embrace your Greatness, Find the Flow, Discover Success
🎧 What I’m listening to: I stumbled across this song today by First Aid Kit and the lyrics are amazingly beautiful for anyone struggling with feelings of anxiety or shame or needing a mental wellness boost in general. This song reminds me of the healing and energy-giving power of music, give it a listen, you won’t be disappointed.
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
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Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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