the tuesday transition - issue 36
December 20, 2022: As we head towards the close of 2022 and move into the new year, a lot has been on my mind. One big one being, trying to sort through all of the things I believe about myself and my life that might actually not be true!
And not only might they not be true, but I’ve discovered that these beliefs are most likely ACTIVELY HOLDING ME BACK as well.
The truth is that, in life and in soccer, reaching the top of your game is as much about LETTING GO as it is about gaining and growing.
Letting go of the limiting beliefs we have of ourselves, the self-defeating burdens we unknowingly carry, and fully opening ourselves up to a world where we are not bound by labels and identities and society’s standard definition of success. Because to progress to the top levels of the game, we need to be able to fully maximize our potential and you can’t do that whenย you are trapped inside a limited version of yourself.ย
Let me clarify: growing up in the world you’ve grown up in has taught you to act a certain way. It has taught you to care about the things it wants you to care about. It has taught you that success is only defined in a very specific, very narrow way. THIS IS SOCIAL CONDITIONING.
When you get caught up in this (as we all have been), it can be very hard to know how to authentically be YOU. It can be hard to know yourself well. It can be hard to define what YOU actually want and need. Instead we just decide to want things because it’s what we think we SHOULD want. Social conditioning teaches us to like things because everyone else likes them, to act a certain way because everyone else acts that way. Social conditioning keeps us SMALL. Limiting beliefs keep us SMALL.
As we head into 2023, I challenge all of you to try to change this, to try and see beyond this scope. I challenge you to ask yourself…
What myth or limiting belief have you been socially conditioned to believe about yourself, and what is it preventing you from doing?
Soccer players, what do you believe to be true about yourself or about your life, that might not actually be the case if you were to stop, reflect and REALLY think about it. Do you believe…
- that talent is something you either have or you don’t
- that you aren’t a good player if you make mistakes
- that meditation isn’t something that works for you
- that the only way you’ll feel like you truly belong is if you play perfect
- that you just aren’t a physical player and never will be
- that you will never be a good communicator on the field
- that you will always and forever be bad with your left foot
- that it’s your coach who just can’t see how good you are
- that perfectionism will just always be an issue for you
- that you’ll never be as good as _______ or ________
- that it doesn’t matter what you do, you’ll never be the best
- that you can’t change your overthinking or self-criticism
- that losing games is badโ
None of these things are true in the absolute sense. You weren’t born with these beliefs, you’ve been conditioned to believe that they are the truth. You’ve been conditioned to think that this is just how things are, that it can’t be different. AND THIS CONDITIONING IS WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK.
They are all myths, limiting beliefs that are holding you back from maximizing your potential and being able to be the athlete and person that YOU CAN BE. They are keeping you small and preventing you from flourishing.
The challenge here, is HOW do you start the hard work of UNDOING all of this stuff?
All of this stuff that you’ve been taught to believe about what is right, what is wrong, what is ‘success’, what is ‘failure, etc. Mental skills work is where you start. Mental skills work is a combination of enhancing performance AND working on wellbeing. Mental skills work helps soccer players see their worth beyond the bounds of their performance stats, beyond the bounds of the labels that they’ve adopted over time.
Mental skills work is what leads to players lessoning their dependance on external validation and working towards becoming their own best inner coach and building true, stable, deep confidence and belief in themselves and their abilities. When players are given the space to learn about themselves and focus on identity and character development alongside their soccer game, they come to see that who they are as a person is ultimately what will drive their success in the long run.
Mental skills work helps to normalize conversations around the difficult topics of mental health, perfectionism, confidence, self-worth and limiting beliefs. Just by having these discussions and providing players with the knowledge that they are not alone, that these are actually shared experiences that many, many players go through, players are moving the needle and chipping away at the social conditioning that theyโve been beholden to all their lives.
Once a player truly understands that THEY have the power to change all of this stuff, and the only one standing in their way is themselves, they become unstoppable. This is the focus of mental skills work, to awaken this passion.
That’s it for now! I hope that you all have a lovely holiday week and spend it doing whatever you like to do best! For me that means quiet time, cooking and hanging out with my doggo ๐ถ.
Till next time,
๐ What I’m digging: the world’s first carbon neutral soccer tournament took place here in the States this year, The Women’s Cup 2022 in Louisville
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๐ฉ๐ฝโ๐ป What I’m reading: definitely into the pilgrimage and personal journey stories right now, so finally diving into Cheryl Strayed’s ‘Wild’
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๐ง What I’m listening to: yesterday’s NYT’s ‘The Daily’ went in-depth into how the world, and soccer, has changed after this World Cup; good listen
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
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Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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