the tuesday transition - issue 59
January 9, 2024: What is the difference between (1) an easy training session where you know how to do everything, you do it well, and you’re comfortable because you’ve done it a million times before and (2) a hard training session where you struggle, don’t do everything well, and make mistakes because it’s a really challenging topic or skill?
We could come up with a lot here, but what I want to talk about today is a difference in CONFIDENCE. Now, let’s think about the average soccer player for a second: in the easy session, is their confidence usually high or low? HIGH. How about the hard session, is their confidence usually high or low? LOW.
Here's what I want you to ask yourself: does confidence HAVE to be low in a difficult session? Are we REQUIRED to have low confidence inside of a challenging moment where we are making mistakes, or can we actually look at things a little differently?
{Disclaimer, this is the point where I inevitably lose some people because the question I just asked seems wild. It seems far-fetched that you could ACTUALLY FEEL CONFIDENT while you are learning something new, (something hard) and messing up. But hence, my job is to challenge the conventional way of thinking about things, so here we go!}
Players will typically feel this way (high confidence in an easy session and low confidence in a hard session), because they like to be able to execute. They like to feel like they are contributing, like they know what they are doing. TOTALLY FAIR and makes a lot of sense. Everyone likes to feel that way.
BUT……………. does that have to be the ONLY place that confidence comes from? From executing with perfection? Nope. You actually have the power to decide that today, instead of your confidence coming from eliminating mistakes and doing everything right, today your confidence is going to come from trying your very best to learn about this challenging topic, ask questions, and TRY to execute.Giving max effort to understand and tackle this new thing that my coach is trying to teach us, THAT’S what will allow me to feel good about myself today because I know I’m progressing forward.
It is ABSOLUTELY possible to feel confident even in the middle of the challenge of learning something new and difficult - it's possible to feel GOOD.
Low confidence when I’m struggling? That’s my OLD way of thinking. My NEW way of thinking has to do with detaching my confidence from my performance, and REATTACHING it to the process. To the small things that are fully controllable by me, that have to do with self-improvement and growth and expansion – my confidence is NOT attached to playing perfectly.
This concept can be a game changer for soccer players. Here’s why:
If I’m at a hard training session, and I spend the whole time being upset about it, stressing and worrying that I don’t understand or that I am really bad at this – what’s going to happen? I’m going to get nothing out of the practice. No growth, no improvement, NOTHING. (Well, maybe some increased inner criticism, but nothing good that’s for sure.)
Now, if I was at that same hard training session and I could see things through a different lens, a lens where I understood that this was hard yes, but at the same time it was actually GREAT for me, everything about my game would change. It would be huge.
A difficult, challenging training session will ALWAYS try to knock you into a place of stress, pressure and unrealistically high expectations of perfection. It’s your job to notice this, catch yourself, and intentionally CHOOSE to attach your confidence to things you can control. This is how you keep yourself in your optimal performance zone and accelerate your growth towards becoming the player you want to be. This is how you gain an edge on the other players around you that are spending their time complaining about the hard session.
Of course there’s never anything wrong with an easy session here and there. Maintenance sessions are great and its always nice to just have a low-key day every once in awhile. But if you have the goal of TRULY wanting to grow and get better at soccer, you can’t live every day in the land of the comfortable.
If you want to be the best, you have to learn to love the hard sessions.
Till next time,
Side note: This week’s newsletter content comes from the week 7 curriculum of my 10-week transformational 1-to-1 mental skills mentorship program the Mindset Mastery Academy. Enrollment is now open for the spring session which starts in February, learn more and hear from other youth athletes that have been through the program here.
Side note #2: If any coaches are attending the United Soccer Coaches Convention in Anaheim this week and would like to meet to discuss scholarship opportunities for their players in the Mindset Mastery Academy, reach out! 206-802-5154 or jenn@expandyourgame.com
💎 What I’m digging: Lately I’ve been learning about Reiki energy healing and am excited to try out this mental wellness practice for the first time soon!
👩🏽💻 What I’m reading: Just picked up Mamba Mentality by Kobe Bryant, been looking forward to this one for awhile!
🎧 What I’m listening to: Love the Mark Groves podcast, especially episodes that are personal-growth focused that help you learn to see the world differently. His latest guest Allyson Byrd did just that.
Grow your confidence through preparedness.
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Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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