the tuesday transition - issue 44
March 7, 2023: We’re going to get a little deep here today (but who am I kidding, I get a little deep every week! That’s the whole point of this newsletter.) Ready? Here’s my deep question:
Why is it easier for soccer players to have self-doubt than for them to have self-belief?
This actually extends way beyond the soccer field as you might imagine. Whether we are talking about sport or about everything else in our lives, people more naturally doubt themselves than they more naturally believe in themselves. While many people DO exude self-belief, chances are pretty high that if you started polling random players, a large number would agree that self-doubt is their default.
There are 3 reasons that this is happening:
Reason 1 – Your brain has a negative bias. It naturally leans toward the negative mindset, aka self-doubt.
Reason 2 – The competitive, elite sports environment of pressure, expectations, and comparison culture actually SETS YOU UP to doubt yourself. The pressure to perform, the impossibly high standards of perfection that you try to hold yourself too and the constant battle of fighting against a world that is always comparing you to others (via stats, rankings, social media, etc.) is setting you up to feel this way.
Reason 3 – Lastly, DOUBTING IS THE EASY THING TO DO. And as humans, we are REALLY GOOD at doing the easy thing.
Believing in yourself is the HARDER OPTION, absolutely. It’s harder because it’s going against ALL THREE of the above reasons. It’s fighting against these things and choosing to do things your own way. THAT IS REALLY HARD.
Believing requires more work than doubting. Believing requires self-awareness and growth-mindedness. Believing requires you to pay attention to how you are feeling, to KNOW what things trigger you and to know how to course correct and be your own best inner coach when your thoughts go astray. Believing requires you to be alert, conscious and aware of your mindset, it requires you to stay diligent and it requires you to stay mentally strong.
Believing also requires you to have your own back and know your worthiness. This is extremely hard to do when the world around you is throwing things your way saying that you are NOT worthy, immersing you in comparison culture and telling you over and over again that you’ll never be good enough.
Let’s cut to the chase – here’s the truth in all of this:
You have two choices, you can choose to believe or you can choose to doubt - IT'S 100% UP TO YOU!
Now, you might say that doubting yourself is not a choice. You aren’t CHOOSING to be filled with self-doubt. It is not a CONSCIOUS, intentional choice, correct (nobody goes around saying today I WANT to doubt myself, and let’s throw some inner criticism and overthinking in there too because it sounds like fun). Nobody does that to themselves. But, even though you are not actively choosing to doubt yourself, you STILL are choosing this. Its just unconscious and its become the default so it FEELS like you don’t have a choice. But you do.
Once you gain self-awareness in this area and understand this concept, you can step back and be like – Hmmmm! I don’t WANT to choose this anymore, I would like the other option please! I CHOOSE to believe. Only after becoming AWARE that this is indeed a choice, can you make it an ACTIVE choice.
Soccer players, this is a lot to take in I know. My advice is to take some time this week to really think about this. Think about what choice you are making (consciously or unconsciously) and then think about what YOU need in order to be able to make the switch.
Remember, belief and doubt are mindsets, and the amazing thing about our mind is that if we don’t like what it’s thinking about, we can CHOOSE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. We don’t have to play it’s game. It might not always feel that way, but that is because you are letting your brain go on autopilot. Once we become consciously aware that this is a choice, and understand that we can just straight up choose something new – we gain the power in the situation.
So – if you only have two choices, self-doubt or self-belief, which one are you going to choose for yourself? Email me and let me know.
Till next week,
💎 What I’m digging: The meditation app from Insight Timer – it has the ability to set interval bells so that you know how far along you are. Brilliant.
👩🏽💻 What I’m reading: This article about author Jenny Odell and her books that deal with society’s obsession with productivity and our relationship with time. Interesting stuff.
🎧 What I’m listening to: It Takes What it Takes, an audiobook by Trevor Moawad. I’m on my second listen, there is SO much good stuff in here. If you are interested in mental skills for enhancing performance, this book is it.
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Hi everyone! I’m Jenn and I create content to help female soccer players and coaches maximize individual and team potential by developing healthy mindset skills. Join other subscribers and sign up for the newsletter for all my best tips and advice!
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